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POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Web resources for parents and teachers on discipline without corporal punishment: A - C
There are many resources available on the world wide web aimed at supporting parents who decide not to use corporal punishment in bringing up their children. For some organisations and individuals listed below, non-violent parenting is promoted in its own right, while for others it is part of a more developed overall philosophical approach to parenting, such as attachment parenting, natural parenting, Aware Parenting, or a religion-based approach. These websites offer some valuable resources and support in working with children's behaviour without resorting to physical punishment. Most of the parent resources listed below are free of charge unless stated otherwise.
There are also a number of useful resources on positive discipline techniques for teachers in dealing with classroom management and other aspects of working with pupils in schools. Again, these range from those advocating non-physical ways of punishing children to those advocating a totally non-punitive approach. The majority of educational resources are provided on a commercial basis, though some resources are freely available.
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Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children
www.atlc.org
The ATLC is an interdisciplinary group of experts and parents promoting ways of parenting which are non-punitive and which protect children from all physical and emotional violence. Resources on this site include articles, on-line discussion, and links to periodicals. Articles include:
- Proclamation and Blueprint for Transforming the Lives of Children: Principles and Actions for Creating the Foundations for Optimal Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, Social, and Spiritual Development – evidence linked principles and actions for promoting children's optimal development, including meeting children's needs, avoiding punishments and threats, and protecting children from all physical and emotional violence. Available at www.atlc.org/Proclamation/Proclamation.pdf.
The American Academy of Pediatrics
www.aap.org
The American Academy of Pediatrics produces resources for paediatricians working with families, and recommends a developmental approach to discipline based on a positive, supportive and loving relationship between parents and children, the use of positive reinforcement strategies and the avoidance of punishment. Resources include:
- Guidance for Effective Discipline. Available at www.aap.org/policy/re9740.html.
AskDrSears.com
www.askdrsears.com
This is the website of a family of paediatricians providing advice and articles on a wide range of health issues concerning infants, toddlers and children, including over 40 articles on how to deal with toddlers and children's difficult behaviour without resorting to corporal punishment. These include:
- Top ten discipline principles. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060300.asp.
- What is discipline. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060200.asp.
- An extended essay on Spanking which includes sections on 10 reasons not to hit your child, 8 admonitions to parents who choose to spank and Signs you need professional help about discipline. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100.asp.
- 25 ways to talk so your children will listen. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T061000.asp.
- 13 ways to encourage toddler good behavior. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060800.asp.
- 8 tools for toddler discipline. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060500.asp.
- 18 ways to say "no" positively. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T061100.asp.
- An extended essay on Temper tantrums, including sections on Taming toddler tantrums, Understanding the tantrum-prone child, 3 ways to prevent tantrums, Helping toddlers handle tantrums, Managing tantrums in older children and Handling tantrums in public. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063300.asp.
- Disciplining bothersome behavior: general tips. Practical advice covering biting and hitting, dressing hassles, supermarket discipline, whining, dirty words, soiling pants, name-calling, grumbling, talking back and thumbsucking. Available at www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063900.asp.
Attachment Parenting International
www.attachmentparenting.org
This website promotes parenting which aims to prevent violence through the empathic care of infants and young children, based on eight ideals, including positive discipline. There is a useful FAQ section on the website, under "About discipline", and various articles on positive discipline, including:
- The eight ideals of attachment parenting for the school-age child - use positive discipline. Available at www.attachmentparenting.org/idealschdisc.shtml.
- The eight ideals. Available at www.attachmentparenting.org/leaders/8ideals.htm.
Aware Parenting Institute
www.awareparenting.com
Website promoting Aware Parenting, a philosophy developed by the Swiss-American developmental psychologist Aletha Solter, based on attachment-style parenting, non-punitive discipline, and the prevention and healing of stress and trauma. The non-punitive discipline element is based on not using punishments or rewards, recognising the child's underlying needs and feelings, and using non-violent communication and peaceful conflict resolution. The website includes over 40 articles by Solter and excerpts from her books. Articles include:
- Principles of Aware Parenting. Available at www.awareparenting.com/english.htm.
- The Disadvantages of Time-Out. Available at www.awareparenting.com/timeout.htm.
- Principles of Learning. Available at www.awareparenting.com/learning.htm.
- Twenty Alternatives to Punishment. Available at www.awareparenting.com/twenty.htm.
- Why do children "misbehave"? Available at www.awareparenting.com/misbehav.htm.
- What to do when your baby cries. Available at www.awareparenting.com/article1.htm.
- Breaking the cycle of violence: An interview with Aletha Solter. Available at www.awareparenting.com/interview.htm.
Behaviour UK
www.behaviouruk.com
The team behind this website have developed software for teachers in primary and secondary schools called the Interactive Conduct File, which is recommended to form part of the discipline and behaviour framework of any school. The focus of the software, based on the principles of behaviour therapy and reality therapy, is to enable pupils themselves to reflect on and address their own behaviour. The software costs £295 + VAT for senior schools and £95 + VAT for junior schools. Free samples are available. The website also contains some useful articles on positive discipline and classroom management, including:
- Creating a good 'Behaviour Climate' in a school. Available at www.behaviouruk.com/feature.php.
- Managing difficult groups in school. Available at www.behaviouruk.com/feature.php.
- Circle time can promote positive behaviour within a junior school. Available at www.behaviouruk.com/feature.php.
British Broadcasting Corporation
www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/kids/toddlers_discipline1.shtml
The parenting pages of the BBC offer a useful summary of positive discipline and some very practical advice for dealing with children's behaviour in a non-punitive way.
Center for Effective Discipline
www.stophitting.com
Also the website of the National Coalition to Abolish Corporal Punishment in Schools, and EPOCH-USA. Includes sections on discipline and the law, including case law, and a summary of the laws in each US state. The NCACPS section contains resources available on-line, including information about how to campaign and alternatives to school corporal punishment. Resources include:
- 10 Guidelines for raising a well-behaved child. Available at www.stophitting.com/disathome/10guidelines.php.
- 28 Ways to teach non-violence, kindness, and peacefulness to children. Available at www.stophitting.com/disathome/28ways.php.
- Family pledge of non-violence. Available at www.stophitting.com/disathome/familyPledge.php.
- Spanking: Facts and Fiction. Available at www.stophitting.com/disathome/factsAndFiction.php.
- Arguments against corporal punishment. Available at www.stophitting.com/disatschool/argumentsAgainst.php.
- School corporal punishment alternatives. Available at www.stophitting.com/disatschool/alternatives.php.
Child and Family Canada
www.cfc-efc.ca
This website contains over 50 articles on the subject of discipline in parenting and family life, collected from a number of different organisations, chosen from a position of advocating positive discipline and the non-use of corporal punishment. The articles - many available in French and English - cover a wide range of issues, including ways of handling parental rage, approaches to managing children's behaviour from toddlers to teenagers, the importance of respecting children's feelings and raising their self esteem, and communicating with children in loving and respectful ways. Examples of articles available are:
- Parenting teens: Are we having fun yet? Available at www.cfc-efc.ca/menu/parenting_en.htm.
- Tips for parenting children with challenging behaviour. Available at www.cfc-efc.ca/menu/parenting_en.htm.
- Coping with tricky times: conflict resolution in adult/child relationships. Available at www.cfc-efc.ca/menu/parenting_en.htm.
- Children and difficult behaviour. Available at www.cfc-efc.ca/menu/parenting_en.htm.
- Children and the stress of parenting. Available at www.cfc-efc.ca/menu/parenting_en.htm.
Children are unbeatable! Alliance
www.childrenareunbeatable.org.uk
"Children are unbeatable!" is an Alliance of more than 350 organisations and projects, including professional and religious bodies and prominent individuals. It campaigns for smacking to be legally banned and promotes positive, non-violent forms of discipline. Positive discipline rests on the loving relationship between children and parents, assumes that children want to behave well, focuses on and expects good behaviour, makes sure children understand what this is and why, rewards children for acceptable behaviour and motivates them to keep on trying. The website contains a list of booklets, leaflets and other resources available from a variety of organisations. The full text of the booklet Hitting people is wrong, which includes information on the principles of positive discipline, is available on the website of the Children's Rights Information Network (www.crin.org).
Christians for Non-Violent Parenting
www.nospank.net/cnpindex.htm
The Christian section of Project NoSpank (see below). The website includes a page on recommended books and Christian resources for positive parenting, and links to other Christian sites opposing corporal punishment. Resources include:
- The Bible and positive parenting: Highlights from excellent articles. Available at www.nospank.net/bible1.htm.
- Short argument for abolishing corporal punishment of children. Available at www.nospank.net/crowel3.htm.
Classroom Management Online
http://classroommanagementonline.com/index.html and www.panix.com/~pro-ed
These are the websites of Professor Howard Seeman of City University, New York, based on his book Preventing Classroom Discipline Problems. Professor Seeman argues very strongly against the use of corporal and other forms of punishment, and promotes instead an approach to discipline which is non-punitive, stressing rewards and prevention, and distinguishing between education problems and discipline problems. This approach has been successfully used in many countries worldwide, including the US, Canada, Japan, Ghana, Mexico, Malaysia and Kuwait. Information on the websites is available in English, Spanish, German, Italian, French and Portuguese. Professor Seeman offers an online, distance learning course on classroom management and the prevention and handling of disruptive behaviour. The handbook is priced at $54.95, the CD $129.95 and the video $129.95, with school discounts available. The website provides free questionnaires for teaching staff and free online help for specific concerns. Although aimed primarily at teachers in the classroom, the book contains a useful section on the parent's role in identifying, understanding and resolving problems at school.